To Decieve
by SimplyTurquoise
Summary: He smiles, as if to remind me, and I seem to imagine a softness there; until now he has shown me very little warmth. (one-shot)


To Deceive: SimplyTurquoise  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is associated with Gundam Wing. Also, this is so very much like Daniel Quinn's work with 'The Frog King, Or Iron Henry' but only slightly changed around to suit my needs as I did with the Inuyasha one as well. Yes, there is an Inuyasha version of this too as I wrote these two a few months ago.  
  
**  
  
Have I forgotten, I suppose I have; everything else seems to have disappeared: hidden away as I am, in a boxed up room.  
  
I was left behind. They have all gone. A dim light makes it way through the crack of the door - it is all I can see.  
  
With much doubt, without any real faith or hope, I call out to the shadows: "Heero?"  
  
His departure is something I can always sense, like cold fingers trailing their way up my spine. Near the door, a flicker of movement alerts me, slowly moving away from the light.  
  
"Heero," I whimper, knowing for all the world that even his protective nature for me, would not stop him this night: "Please."  
  
He stops and sighs, "I should not."  
  
"Tell me once more."  
  
"She wakes," he says, "I must be away soon."  
  
"It's not that important, Heero; what's left of my memory has done nothing for me."  
  
His shadowed face in the dim light is creased and hard; it reminds me of the day when we first met.  
  
"You haven't lost anything," Heero tells me.  
  
"I have lost it; or I wouldn't be here."  
  
"I'll not remind you again, no more."  
  
"It's like a game, Heero: a frame within a frame, one after the other. I don't know where it starts."  
  
"Your heart holds the key," he says to me, "and you have not lost that."  
  
He smiles, as if to remind me, and I seem to imagine a softness there; until now he has shown me very little warmth.  
  
"You love me," I murmur.  
  
"Do I? Is that what you remember."  
  
I am surprised by the sudden thought. "You love me."  
  
He growls lowly and then reaches out to me in a slow, purposeful movement, as if he's trying to help remind me; I hesitate until realization comes back to me.  
  
"You do love me.. don't you?"  
  
"I can't, Relena; no more."  
  
"Please," I whimper.  
  
"You know how it went."  
  
"I can't remember anymore, Heero, I can't figure out why. Tell me what happened, just this last time, please."  
  
Heero takes a deep breath and says, "You must start remembering what happened, I will not always be here, Relena."  
  
"I can't picture it anymore, I swear to you, it has left me."  
  
"Come on," he says, "it was only seconds ago when you yourself remembered what we did."  
  
"What we did?"  
  
"Think about it Relena - think of what we did together."  
  
"Give me a hint, Heero."  
  
"Seduction, Relena."  
  
"I was doing something, Heero, that's all I can recall. You and I.. we did something - am I right?"  
  
"Yes, keep going, Relena, keep going."  
  
"Oh, I can recall something more. We were lying on the bed..."  
  
"What else...?"  
  
"Yes, yes - I remember it now - We were lying there intertwined on the bed!"  
  
"Intertwined...?"  
  
"We were tangled, intertwined... Oh, Heero, I see it now - it was us, it was us, Both of us on the bed."  
  
"Think about it, Relena, think: what exactly were we doing on the bed."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What were we, what happened, while we were in the room?"  
  
"In the room.."  
  
"You've got it, we were doing something in the room."  
  
"Wait - we were... alone?"  
  
"We were alone and... what else? Come on, Relena, this is the whole reason why you're here."  
  
"What are you talking about, Heero, what are you saying?"  
  
"Why can't you ever remember this part." He growls lowly. "You never remember trying to seduce me."  
  
"Seduce you? What are you getting on about?"  
  
"A seduction, an enticement, an allure, Relena. That's what you did until you got what you wanted. You wanted me to love you, to feel something, to become alive for you, so you tried to seduce me into physical contact - a way of feeling somewhat human."  
  
"I'm sorry, Heero, I don't remember any of it, none at all."  
  
"You wanted to love and be loved. You always have. It was what you tried for all those years. Can't you remember anything? You wanted me to love you."  
  
"Yes, I somewhat remember.. wanting you to love me."  
  
"Yes, anything more?"  
  
"Pleasure. I recall feeling. The sensation was like a drug. Yes, I can feel it again."  
  
"You're very close, Relena; it was desire, a want, a need."  
  
"It's bliss, I suppose."  
  
"Keep going."  
  
"What else is there? I was happy, yet I knew something was wrong. Something wrong... something more. Hold on." I take a calming breath. "That's it, I know it now - there was a ceremony."  
  
"Hmm, something more.. Something happening?"  
  
"No, not that; it was a different thing all together."  
  
"Maybe this is what you're trying to remember, Relena: we were going to part, you and I, you wanted to tell me how you felt - and instead you tried to show me."  
  
"Oh God, Heero, I've lost track of what you're saying."  
  
"Didn't you ever wonder why we were in that room in the first place, didn't you want to know?"  
  
"No, should I?"  
  
With much control, he doesn't give into his frustration, "How about this: it was you loving me that started this whole problem; you do realize that."  
  
"Jesus, Heero, tell me something I'll be able to remember in the end."  
  
"Don't you understand, that's what I've been doing."  
  
"But there's more, Heero, something I can't quite recall. What is it, please, won't you remind me once more?"  
  
"It won't help, Relena."  
  
"What are you talking about, Heero - Remind me!"  
  
"A feeling, that's all."  
  
"A feeling..? Hold on! Hold on! Hmm - I can't feel it, but I do recall it, I remember the sensation: a wonderful feeling."  
  
"The sharing of a bond for one night - without regrets, without any promises to one another. It was an attempt, Relena."  
  
"That's right!" I exclaim, shaking with fright at this recollection.  
  
"It was after my wedding, and you wanted to say goodbye."  
  
"After the wedding? Yes, I guess so, but Jesus, what happened?"  
  
"You know, Relena: we were saying goodbye. We were in the hotel. You remember. You were there, Relena, don't get frustrated."  
  
"A hopeless feeling... a want to tell you how I felt.. the end of it all - Heero, it's leaving me! A need.. to tell you something..."  
  
"You were there, Relena, don't get frustrated. We were in the hotel. You know, Relena: we were saying goodbye."  
  
"Yes, I guess so, but Jesus, what happened? After the wedding?"  
  
"It was after my wedding, and you wanted to say goodbye."  
  
I exclaim, shaking with fright at this recollection. "That's right!"  
  
"It was an attempt, Relena. The sharing of a bond for one night - without regrets, without any promises to one another."  
  
"Hmm - I can't feel it, but I do recall it, I remember the sensation: a wonderful feeling. Hold on! Hold on! A feeling..?"  
  
"A feeling, that's all."  
  
"What are you talking about, Heero - Remind me!"  
  
"It won't help, Relena."  
  
"What is it, please, won't you remind me once more? But there's more, Heero, something I can't quite recall."  
  
"Don't you understand, that's what I've been doing."  
  
"Jesus, Heero, tell me something I'll be able to remember in the end."  
  
"How about this: it was you loving me that started this whole problem; you do realize that." With much control, he doesn't give into his frustration.  
  
"No, should I?"  
  
"Didn't you ever wonder why we were in that room in the first place, didn't you want to know?"  
  
"Oh God, Heero, I've lost track of what you're saying."  
  
"Maybe this is what you're trying to remember, Relena: we were going to part, you and I, you wanted to tell me how you felt - and instead you tried to show me."  
  
"No, not that; it was a different thing all together."  
  
"Hmm, something more.. Something happening?"  
  
"That's it, I know it now - there was a ceremony." I take a calming breath. "Hold on. Something wrong... something more. I was happy, yet I knew something was wrong. What else is there?"  
  
"Keep going."  
  
"It's bliss, I suppose."  
  
"You're very close, Relena; it was desire, a want, a need."  
  
"Yes, I can feel it again. The sensation was like a drug. I recall feeling. Pleasure."  
  
"Yes, anything more?"  
  
"Yes, I somewhat remember.. wanting you to love me."  
  
"You wanted me to love you. Can't you remember anything? It was what you tried for all those years. You always have. You wanted to love and be loved."  
  
"I'm sorry, Heero, I don't remember any of it, none at all."  
  
"You wanted me to love you, to feel something, to become alive for you, so you tried to seduce me into physical contact - a way of feeling somewhat human. That's what you did until you got what you wanted. A seduction, an enticement, an allure, Relena."  
  
"What are you getting on about? Seduce you?"  
  
"You never remember trying to seduce me." He growls lowly. "Why can't you ever remember this part."  
  
"What are you talking about, Heero, what are you saying?"  
  
"Come on, Relena, this is the whole reason why you're here. We were alone and... what else?"  
  
"Wait - we were... alone?"  
  
"You've got it, we were doing something in the room."  
  
"In the room.."  
  
"What were we, what happened, while we were in the room?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Think about it, Relena, think: what exactly were we doing on the bed."  
  
"We were tangled, intertwined... Oh, Heero, I see it now - it was us, it was us, Both of us on the bed."  
  
"Intertwined...?"  
  
"Yes, yes - I remember it now - We were lying there intertwined on the bed!"  
  
"What else...?"  
  
"We were lying on the bed... Oh, I can recall something more."  
  
"Yes, keep going, Relena, keep going."  
  
"You and I.. we did something - am I right? I was doing something, Heero, that's all I can recall."  
  
"Seduction, Relena."  
  
"Give me a hint, Heero."  
  
"Think about it Relena - think of what we did together."  
  
"What we did?"  
  
"It was only seconds ago when you yourself remembered what we did," he says, "Come on."  
  
"I can't picture it anymore, I swear to you, it has left me."  
  
Heero takes a deep breath and says, "You must start remembering what happened, I will not always be here, Relena."  
  
"Tell me what happened, just this last time, please. I can't remember anymore, Heero, I can't figure out why."  
  
"You know how it went."  
  
"Please," I whimper.  
  
"I can't, Relena; no more."  
  
"You do love me.. don't you?"  
  
He growls lowly and then reaches out to me in a slow, purposeful movement, as if he's trying to help remind me; I hesitate until realization comes back to me.  
  
"You love me." I am surprised by the sudden thought.  
  
"Is that what you remember. Do I?"  
  
"You love me," I murmur.  
  
He smiles, as if to remind me, and I seem to imagine a softness there; until now he has shown me very little warmth.  
  
"And you have not lost that," he says to me, "Your heart holds the key."  
  
"I don't know where it starts. It's like a game, Heero: a frame within a frame, one after the other."  
  
"I'll not remind you again, no more."  
  
"I have lost it; or I wouldn't be here."  
  
"You haven't lost anything," Heero tells me.  
  
His shadowed face in the dim light is creased and hard; it reminds me of the day when we first met.  
  
"It's not that important, Heero; what's left of my memory has done nothing for me."  
  
"I must be away soon," he says, "She wakes."  
  
"Tell me once more."  
  
He stops and sighs, "I should not."  
  
"Please," I whimper, knowing for all the world that even his protective nature for me, would not stop him this night: "Heero."  
  
Near the door, a flicker of movement alerts me, slowly moving away from the light. His departure is something I can always sense, like cold fingers trailing their way up my spine.  
  
With much doubt, without any real faith or hope, I call out to the shadows: "Heero?"  
  
A dim light makes it way through the crack of the door - it is all I can see. They have all gone. I was left behind.  
  
Have I forgotten, I suppose I have; everything else seems to have disappeared: hidden away as I am, in a boxed up room.  
  
**  
  
Authors Note: I uh, hope you liked it. It didn't come how like I hoped, oh well! Nothing left to say really, but that this IS a one-shot! Oh, and review pretty please.. 


End file.
